Why Feeling Sorry For Yourself Is So Destructive For Your Happiness


Life is full of ups and downs and the way in which we react to them are very different depending on our mindsets. But something we can all be guilty of is feeling sorry for ourselves.

While it’s normal, natural and healthy to feel our negative emotions to a situation, when it becomes too persistent and prolonged – even a habit – then it can have a detrimental effect on our happiness and well-being.

Do any of these describe you?

  • You tend to complain about life not being fair
  • You feel like you always have bad luck in life
  • You often think and feel the world or other people are out to get you
  • You think people who have great lives are the ‘lucky ones’
  • You struggle to find anything to be truly grateful for

As human beings, we are always drawn to the easier route and in this case it’s easier to feel sorry for ourselves than to pick ourselves up and face our problems. We can let our overwhelming feelings of pity get in the way of moving forward, creating a better mindset and better perspectives.

The problem with this is, we never really allow ourselves to reach our true potential of happiness.

It can blind you to the good that is right there in front of your face. You can push people away with constant ‘glass half empty’ chatter because, sometimes without knowing it, negativity can spread like wildfire to others around you.

None of us are perfect and we all throw ourselves a pity party every once in a while but to be more consistent in our personal discovery of happiness it’s really important to make a conscious effort to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move forward.

More often than not, negative emotions will breed more and more creating an everlasting circle and it’ll become a destructive habit. We believe it takes too much effort to start changing our thoughts, beliefs and perspectives  – that they’re too ingrained in us and something we have no control over – but it’s not true and to change our thoughts is never as hard as you think it is.

Next time you notice a prolonged period of time where you feel nothing ever goes right for you, just stop and take note of it. Make a conscious choice to see the opposite perspective. The people out there who are ‘lucky’ are no different to you and me other than the way they choose to see the world.

Make your happiness a choice…it’s not always something that just magically appears but does needs cultivating and consistent habits in order to achieve it 🙂

6 thoughts on “Why Feeling Sorry For Yourself Is So Destructive For Your Happiness

  1. scribbleartie

    I agree so much with making the positives an actual choice of thinking. There is so much bad news around right now, and so many people taking it on board and putting their own (negative) spin on it, that occasionally you have to go outside and breathe the fresh autumn air to appreciate there are some good things in the world. (I have had one of those days today actually, so thank you for this.)

    1. Jenny M

      I agree, negativity is so easy to enter into especially when others are encouraging it or we’re only presented with the negative perspective. It’s important to be open to a better perspective and remind ourselves of the good! Thanks so much for your comment 🙂

  2. Pete

    Yep, the last sentence is the important one 😀 It’s a choice how we respond. Do we feel sorry for ourselves or do we choose to move on? I think Viktor Frankl was the first to observe that in all circumstances we have a choice, a choice of attitude. Paul McGee, The SUMO Guy, talks about Hippo Time where we give ourselves time to wallow but it should be strictly limited before we move on. My favourite question to myself, if I’m in danger of throwing a pity party, is “What can I do about it?” Thanks for a timely article Jenny. Keep them coming. 😀

  3. Marie Therese

    This is a great reminder! Nothing drives me more crazy than having to spend time with Debbie Downers, but I have to watch out, because it’s easy for any of us to slip into that negative, pessimistic mindset and be the same!

    1. Jenny M

      Exactly! I think it takes a strong-minded person to be able to step back and choose that different perspective but how empowering it is when we do! 🙂

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